Jesus Christ is Back
Imi place tema despre Jesus Christ asa ca m-am documentat:
Dupa ce a mai crescut Iisus a fondat bazele sub-culturii hippie. El a invatat pacea, respectul, iubirea si unitatea pornind miscarea Rasta si fumand iarba in timp ce le spunea oamenilor sa renunte la averile lumesti si sa i le doneze lui pentru a face Raiul un loc mai frumos. A condus o gasca de cartier numita Apostolii (13 membrii) plimbandu-se prin cartiere, facand legea, impartind pace, pumni si rugaciuni si aratand cool. Iisus a fost un tip ok pana a facut scandal ca i-a fost furat iPod-ul si romanii l-au prins si batut. Apoi l-au inramat si l-au pus in cuie (ca pe un tablou) pe o cruce facuta in tineretile lui. Pierzand mult sange Iisus si-a dat duhul pe acea cruce.
Dupa 3 zile s-a ridicat din morti dovedind ca e un zombie ce se hraneste din suflet(e). Ziua lui e sarbatorita in fiecare an, la fel ca si ziua ridicarii la Ceruri. Iisus revine pe Pamant o data la 100 de ani. Dintr-un reportaj se spune ca acesta le arata cum e Raiul: "Oh Lord," I moaned softly, nuzzling my face into His beard. "Oh my Lord Jesus," I whispered, as His hand wrapped around my stiffening member. My eyes shut tight, my hips began rising to meet His tender strokes, I could hardly believe what was happening to me. I was being pleasured by the Lord of Hosts! My balls tightened against my body, my hips moving erratically. "Jesus...I'm going to..." And His voice was like sweet honey as He answered me, "Let it come, child." My seed sprayed high into the air, jetting upwards in spurt after glorious spurt; onto His face, into His hair, and over His beautiful nail-scarred hands. It took me a moment to catch my breath as I lay there, shuddering in His lap, but finally I whispered, "Will this ever happen again, Lord?" And He just smiled at me and said, "Well, child, this *is Heaven..."
Cam asta e tot ce am gasit :)>-
Mike
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